our plans failed at sea
and the silence
left over reads
back your messages to me
and all i can think is
at least we tried our
best to make it

we have sinned our best inside boats that lead to safety
or just away from the
rocks,
but we were drifting.
and i was
shifting
instead of recovering.
so would you rather be
sinking
inside my wine
or the wavering motion i give?
maybe were just caught
between the tide
or the gaps between nets.
with a gun
to my wings they yell “swim”
if we only had a way
to make it out sooner then we
give in
if only we had a chance to
give it up
before breathing in.
you surrender to the urge
to kiss me and
my identity
and give up the needs for
it to mean something
so you pull in.
the voice inside me
is a crashing pilot
screaming
pull up
pull out.
but i am
on the outside
so i lose control
over empty skin
who kisses you back.
we have time on our hands
and no where to go.
when your this young
you have nothing to do
but give in
so lets label it “friends with benefits”
the label is a cover
the cover is a fortress
but this fortress
is not my home.
this is life when
were left alone.
we end up with strings
to tight to undo
we end up on
trails looking for our fervor,
just something to fill.
is this me
falling fast enough for you?
i can’t say that i feel
anything here
buy they say you won’t burn
if you take a risk
so they say
go ahead
put your hands
into the fire.

the life and the life line
me and the untapped into
thoughts
the threads we cling to.
water runs through the color
until it runs no more
making the image drip
into existence.
i am the girl whom you
call the artist,
and you are
an artist whom
they will say
is in the shadows.
i have not the stomach
for rhymes
rather i make myself
the ignition to your soul.
i tell you
come out of yourself,
you have known a girl who
was not free
but neither were you.
now i have grown into myself
and yet it will be awhile til you
see,
but i walk up these hills
just to prove
creativity lives among the stones.
her breathe was a flame
i once lit.
the foot steps you left behind
framed the weakness it
took to commit the unsolved crime.
and now to stop and look
as the sun rises from my window
as if to implicate time is
fast paced.
two worlds moving
never touching.
i was sleeping in today
while you awoke in tomorrow.

I think it’s becuase we force ourselves to sleep
I think I’m awake becuase I force myself to think.
You haven’t spoken a word until now.
Im awake waiting for the reply to sink
looming the breaths I take with the words
the stairs alone are a journey
the light show in my mind
is of our memories
the rest was the dark where
the light didn’t reach.
So I guess that means I’m living life
in an obscure state.

i suppose this feeling
is like another shift from reality,
but i think it could be
better than the altered kiss.
betrayal is like another
swallowed pill
that wavers in my stomach,
playing with my sanity.
this town is taped up
like our skin.
and now that I’m half way fixed
it takes more than
your bare hands to tare me,
maybe the stones can break me
but bones don’t shatter
like your smile.
this mad world where
we can’t just twist our way
out of these
sheets.
can’t lie outta these faces
they just keep staring.
but no one can measure up
to those eyes
that gratify the soul
you almost get sick of the
same stare
but after awhile I’m used to this
mediocre sea of people
where I’m drowning.
everyone remains the same dull
voice.
but once in awhile
you find a candid soul
over in the corner.
the air out here
smells of lights
i walk these streets as if i
i knew this place like the
back of my hand
and every corner has
a dark mystery
like your lips up close.
there’s a chance we could
die in the middle of nowhere
there’s a chance you brought
me to safety.

so this is me spilling over
the left over thoughts from
the day
and its a day to day
meal made out of my creativity.
i wasn’t born to be so sterile
but i live with their sharp teeth.
there could have been more to me
you could have seen it
you could have had it
but i was never the option
to act upon.
the door you thought was open
was a stale desolation.
i was molding from the inside
i was the child i could not
protect.
the cold can bite my tongue
i might even go up in smoke.
but tonight is my titanic,
the impulse
going down past midnight
so what of it?
i linger on for the words
but no one holds any weight
to my thought these days.
inspiration seems to be
the key that
turns in locked stomachs
a generation deprived.
and here i am thinking of you
but none of that matters much
because i smile at the things you don’t know
and how you can’t see past
yourself
so i guess that makes you
still def and
still blind
;0

this is how you remind me
of tragic endings.
this how you taught me to run
in the opposite direction.
this is how
it must have killed
all that i used to be..
maybe that’s a good thing.
the walls are harder to climb
so i sit against it
and smoke the guilt
til it burns up the fuel.
hell is what we call the flames.
and walls don’t grow themselves

reducing the fractions
of situations
yeah, our mindless game.
matter into math.
we end up with solutions
that answer nothing.
yeah,
our lives look smaller now
when numbers turn into clocks.
so you act on open doors
and you see me.
but you were wrong
and i’m on the outside shaking.
maybe its a matter of surreal thoughts
the way you look at a meaning.
your fantasy verses my feeling.
well its anything but the
silence that gets me nowhere
gets us nowhere.
so don’t speak in hopes
to blame my half-witted mistake.
its who
i used to be to you.
now i’m a thirsty flame
dying inside your frame.
yeah,
in your thoughts
i bet i died their too.
now its a matter of surfacing
the incompatible differences
between us.
no, i think I’ll wait til you
disappear
it hurts less when i can’t see you

this mess
was all we had to rest on.
these memories
so far away they look like
diseased insects
the ones that keep sleep the factor
not the fact.
i hate the way they worm their way
through my sleeves
it kills me
and im freezing in the winter

flash back
tell me if this is weak
when i lack the strength to breathe
so i told you that this breath is
going to have to wait
well i lied
i need every inhale of whats left
of this conclusion
or tragedy.
don’t ask me.
you say its not healthy
this mannerism
but what all that i do
won’t lead to my death?
you seem so scared of what
this has turned out to be
but we were just lovers
just.