if we stay in the moment
live in the seasons,
then i become a feeling,
and my life becomes a day,
breathed into a second.
just like you expected.
my feelings would fluctuate
lead me to a distant place.
i couldn’t promise i’d stay.
you waited for me
just to know i couldn’t love
you like you wanted..
guess you were right about me
i looked at you through a mirror
i saw the longing that was pushed aside
and forced to live a different life,
burned into my eyes
the memory,
tears were the ashes
trails left behind on my cheeks
evidence of a feeling.
now here i am returning to
that emotion.
gravitating towards uncertainty
what you do reflects whats inside
and i guess i love not knowing.
he always left me guessing
a little each day
we never say it clearly
just a hint of something
then nothing.
running in circles
coming up empty.
wish i could say whats going on
but i can’t see it from this angle.
i guess we really don’t know
what we want
we just keep guessing.
in all thats falling apart around me
all we want is equanimity in this body.
to rest in our head
nobody said it would be easy
